In writing this blog, it went much longer than I originally envisioned so this is part 1 of 2. Part 2 can be found here.
As I’ve written before, I love the Mystery and while I’ve spent the first half of my life trying to control all inputs and outputs to my life, and some additional wide swathes of years since then doing the same, I now set my day and outlook trying to be accepting of what is. I look forward to seeing what life will bring to me and I especially like to look at all of the supposed setbacks and obstacles that occurred in my life that I now see as blessings.
For reasons I don’t even remember now, I applied to work at DIA and the CIA. I got job interviews with both agencies and I even got an offer to work at the DIA, but the pay was ludicrously low- something like an 80% pay cut from what I was earning at the time and there was no way I could support myself on it. And the CIA never called back after I interviewed with them. And I’m so grateful now that I didn’t get those jobs. I know I wouldn’t be in the place I am now with the business I have now.
Based on my experiences I highlight below, I no longer “worry” about manifesting the “wrong” thing. There simply is trust that there is no “right” or “final” decision. My life continues to evolve and no matter what situation I find myself in, I know that it will change soon or later. Circumstances and seasons in our lives rise and fall away only to have new circumstances rise and fall away. If you’re unhappy with your life now and desparately want to change it and think manifesting may help, you’re right (and you’re wrong). As they say, no matter where you go, there you are. So you can’t manifest away your core beliefs through changing your circumstance. You can allow what is happening in your life to be without avoiding it. Instead you can see what’s happening in your life as a reflection of your ability to be present with what is and use it as an indication of how tuned in you are to the greater Mystery.
Now when I think on what I’d like to have more of in my life, I make sure to ask for it with intention through Divine manifestation- and mostly importantly with the caveat that I only receive what is for my highest good and the highest good of all.
I look back at some of the things I’ve manifested through intention and those that were manifested mainly through will and effort. When I manifested any which way and I didn’t added in the caveat that it was for my highest good, everything I manifested ended up being ashes in my hands. Great learning lessons!
The following are some examples of really big, life altering changes in my life made through manifestation and intention:
Example #1. I was working in my own business with my partner and I really couldn’t stand the work. So I didn’t work that hard and the business wasn’t the greatest success but because I couldn’t face the truth that I wanted a giant, seismic shift in my life away from corporate life to one steeped in the Divine and Mystery, I “blamed” the economy for our financial woes. I decided to do the “smart” and safe thing and get a job with an established firm and a steady paycheck. The way I manifested this, for this new job and for all previous job changes, is that I wrote up my resignation letter and I put a true feelings and thought in it. I believed this was my resignation letter and then I signed it and dated it and then saved it to my computer, releasing it back into the Mystery and allowing for the Universe to work its magic. For 4 different job changes, it worked within a few weeks of the resignation date. It simply never failed.
In this example, I hustled. I searched all the job openings. I applied to several and I went for an interview and I got a job at the rate I asked for in short order. I then started work at the new job and it was a disaster from day 1. After realizing the depth of my “mistake”, I actually stuck it out for two years in an incredibly dysfunctional and toxic work environment because I was actually afraid of asking for anything else since I had made such a hash up of this intention. The job environment really was so awful and so toxic that I doubted myself and instead stayed and worked in that awful place.
But after some time, I look back now at that toxic work environment and I see that job as the beginning of the end for me of looking for safety and security through a job working for someone else on something that didn’t inspire me in the least. It helped me see that I wanted to start a business, working for myself.
I also see that work environment also woke up something in me that made me realize that I didn’t have to take people yelling at me, people gossiping and running my peers and colleagues down. Instead I stood up (literally came out of my chair to stand) to the yellers and told them to stop yelling at me. I was so clear, so level headed about it that they just stopped. And I’d asked the gossiper to stop or I changed the subject immediately. No apologies. No justifications. Just back to the business at hand and then a speedy departure from the meeting. This job, in retrospect, really was such a gift.
Example #2: While I was in that toxic work environment, I had the clear idea to start business. But instead of setting the intention to start a business, I instead asked for what I call an intermediary step/intention and I began to intend a job where I could work from home and spend the time I would have spent commuting to my job on my new business- 2 hours a day. So I started visualizing working from home, working in the sun out on the deck, doing my laundry while I sat at my computer. I then wrote up my resignation letter, made it real through feeling and intention, dated it, saved it to my computer, and kept visualizing working from home. Maybe two weeks later, without me having done any sort of searching for a job or telling anyone about my new intention, I got a phone call from an ex-colleague asking me if I was looking for a new job as there was a position with another firm in another state that was looking for someone with my experience but it was a work from home position. Was I interested? I laughed with joy and said yes. I soon interviewed and was offered the job at the rate I asked for. It was again two weeks off from the date on my resignation letter.
Although it was exactly what I had intended when I set about changing my life, I soon realized that this job wasn’t what I wanted either because I didn’t want a “job” and it made me aware that by asking for an intermediary step is not asking for what I really want.
Would all of this have transpired if I had remembered to ask to only receive my intentions if it’s in my highest good and the highest good of all? I don’t know but I don’t think so. My path may have been very different.
Example #3: The next big, huge, monumental change to my life was the realization that I really wanted to have kids but in my mid-40s I didn’t know how that was to happen. And given my “mistakes” with my previous big intentions, I was very afraid that I would get exactly what I wanted and then be responsible for another life but regret it and be a terrible parent.
So I started intending the pregnancy and this next phase of my life and we went through the IVF process. But throughout these several months of planning and preparation, I constantly prayed that if I were to get pregnant, “please only let me have children if it was for my highest good, their highest good, and the highest good of all.” I walked daily and spent some time every day visualizing being pregnant, getting the news, seeing my first ultrasound, and giving birth. I felt such joy with each visualization. And then I released the intention back into the Unmanifested and let the Universe decided when and how this would happen for me, if it was to happen.
About 14 months later, I was pregnant with twins. I had an easy pregnancy despite my extreme “advanced maternal age” and all doors easily opened on this path. My doctors were amazing. I got pregnant on the first try. No problems throughout my pregnancy and an easy, safe delivery. I delivered boy/girl twins at 36 weeks and 5 days, just 2 days early from the 37 week mark that is the healthiest for twins (twins are ideally delivered between 37 and 38 weeks)