Feel it for reals

Written by Kate • December 11, 2018 •
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In addition to following your dreams by doing it imperfectly is to remember your big reasons for why. Why do you want to make a change? What’s the vision for you? Because once you have a vision that you can see in your head, one that you can increasingly feel, smell, see, and be is one that your mind will work to create.

Christine Kane talks about acting as if, as if you had a million dollars, or as if you weighed your goal weight, as if you had a fulfilling loving relationship, as if you felt amazing in your own body.

Jon Gabriel has talked about visualizing with as much feeling as you can. Really see what you look like at your ideal weight. Really feel your body as you walk down the beach with the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, and the sailboats out on the sea.

Mike Dooley talks about sitting on your sofa and spending a quality 5 or 10 minutes profoundly day dreaming about what it is you want to experience. Just 5 to 10 minutes a day, really visualizing what it is you want. See yourself traveling to some foreign land, for example. Imagine the sites you’ll see, hear the language of those around you as you try to figure out what it is they’re saying, and smelling the amazing food as you sit down to tuck into one of that country’s signature dishes.

Kyle Cease talks about “Kylego-ing”: spending 10 minutes a day talking about what your life looks like a year from now as you’re living out something that makes your heart race and you more fulfilled.

Perhaps you get the picture and I’ll leave off with the various approaches to feeling your vision of a better feeling, more authentic you. Feeling it for reals.

I experienced about a decade of infertility. I lost two pregnancies at six weeks each when I was in my late 30s and early 40s and then for about 4 years I never got pregnant again. But each month I had hope and each month my hopes were utterly dashed. Because of how painful it all was, I never talked about how I felt and I never discussed with my partner if we had truly given up or not. But a few years later, I was having a deep, far ranging discussion with some new friends and one asked, which no one had for years, what my plans were for having kids. I immediately burst into tears. It was only through this honest and immediate reaction to a simple question that I knew there was still a lot going on that hadn’t resolved. Long story, short, my partner and I decided we were going to get some medical help and give it one last try.

We planned for the trip to the Czech Republic, where we had found a clinic that could help us that was both within our price range and that had an excellent reputation with great reviews. The trip was about 10 months in the future. During those 10 months, I would go for a walk and I would visualize being pregnant with twins. (I thought twins were a good idea because we would be such older parents that I wanted them to have each other no matter what happened.) 6 to 7 days a week I would walk and I spent the entire time visualizing being pregnant, what it feel like to feel the twins moves, the delight for me from my friends as they saw me for the first time and realized my dreams for kids were finally coming through, feeling my belly, looking down at my belly and seeing how huge it was. All of it. It was so real and I explored the vision from so many angles. It became very real for me and I could truly feel being pregnant and how happy it made me. For 10 months.

And then we went to the Czech Republic and worked with the clinic and had the procedure. For the week prior to the procedure, I truly asked the Universe to only give me children if it was for my highest good, and for theirs. I asked the Universe to let my dream pass me by if it was not the absolute best thing for me. I wanted what I wanted, so very much. But I didn’t want it if it wasn’t the best for me or the twins. I truly was not attaching to the outcome. I put myself in a position where it could happen but allowed the Universe to have different plans for me if it wasn’t meant to be.

And it happened. I got pregnant, with twins. I had a very easy pregnancy and a ton of support. It just flowed so smoothly. It was surprisingly easy, every bit of the process. And even now, when I’m so tired running after toddler or when I see a lady sitting quietly in a restaurant, reading before her meals arrives and feel more than a bit of envy to have an hour to myself, I remember that I offered it all to the Universe. ALL of it. And still I got pregnant and had my babies and I rest with utter confidence that it was meant to be and somehow I draw strength from that knowledge, strength to keep at it even though I’m so very tired and slow compared to twin toddlers.

I have so many examples like this. But still I have remind myself some times to see it and feel it for reals. And then allow the Universe to bring it to you if it’s best for me and to keep it away if it’s not.

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