Kate Allen

Noticing What Comes in the Stillness

Written by Kate • May 20, 2020 •
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As I grapple with the effects of the lockdown during the COVID 19 pandemic, I noticed that I moved away from my practice of stillness and started to fret about the future, the future in terms of the economy and whether or not schools will start up in the fall.

My general plan has been to be a stay at home Mom with limited hours invested in this business until kindergarten. My twins would both be entering kindergarten and much of my day would then be freed up to spend how I choose. It’s like I set up school starting as some sort of finish line in terms of an end point of spending the vast majority of my time on watching and tending to my kids.

It was a goal line, I see now. The image that springs to my mind is of carrying both kids and finally reaching the start of school and placing my kids down on the other side as they start their school adventures.

And then the pandemic arrived. Schools closed. The future is now so uncertain, as it always is, but now it is transparently so.

I notice what the thought of no school in the fall means to me. At first it was honestly close to sheer panic and complete resistance. Noooooooo, screamed my mind. But after allowing myself some time to freak out and to really mourn the potential loss of my plans, I have also assessed and planned for what we’ll do if the schools do close and remain remote learning focused. I know my rising kindergarteners are in no way prepared for a year of remote learning. Not at all. So we’ll home school them. It just is what needs to be done for us as a family and we can do it, with some sacrifice and changes to our focus and schedules.

I see what rises when I try to resist what is. For me, when I’m pushing up against reality and trying to change it, I can actually sense the feeling of pushing against my forehead from the inside of my skull. It’s like I’m pushing on an accelerator and pushing pushing pushing against what is to impose my will against what reality is presenting me with.

As soon as I notice the pushing, I just drop it and drop my attention into my body. A sense of ease arises and I notice it feels better to rest in the moment rather than drop into unconsciousness and try to force reality to be different.

It is an enduring truth that we suffer when we try to make reality different what it is. We have expectations. They arise and they fall away. By hanging on to our expectations no matter the reality and changes we are presented with, we suffer. Drop your expectations. Drop your clinging to certain outcomes. You will feel lighter and the suffering stops.

Rest in the stillness. Listen to what it brings.

What Is The Stillness Trying to Tell You?

Written by Kate • May 18, 2020 •
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I’m reading Glennon Doyle‘s Untamed and I’m mesmerized by her writing, her stories, and the power of her voice. What a book. I highly recommend it.

I got into the bath Friday night after an amazing 4 hour session of mowing our yard, listening to Brooke Castillo’s podcasts. I just love her work and the sense of fellowship to help support me and remember to continue to manage my mind, especially during the COVID-19 lockdown and the isolation it brings. When it’s just you, your partner, and young kids, if you don’t manage your mind, you can slip into old patterns and it can be far too long until you notice you’ve gone unconscious. So I stay frosty and bolstered, listening to Brooke.

And then, in the bath to wash off all that grass and soak my weary yet satisfied bones- I really do love to mow, to get out there in the sun and the solitude and nature- and the fruits of my labor are obvious and immediate with the fresh mow lines and beautiful space for my kids to run and play.

I read the first third of the book in the bath. I was riveted. I was slayed. I got verklempt and I am so profoundly grateful to Glennon for using her time and her voice to create this masterpiece. What a book.

There is a section in the book where she talks about sinking into the space underneath it all, mainly in her meditation sessions but also in her every day life. Her words help outline the inexplicable. If you haven’t ever sunk into the silence and connected with Source/with God, then this might be just an interesting story.

For me, it felt like coming home, chatting with someone who really gets what you’re going through. And her explanation of the results of that connection, that “liquid gold” she talks about. I get that too. For me, it’s not liquid gold, it’s liquid silvery light. But yes, I get her.

The tag line of my website that I established in 2011 is Stillness. Clarity. Purpose. And Glennon talks about how she loves to Be Still and Know. Yes, sister, yes.

What is the stillness trying to help you know?

Assessing changes to your life- COVID 19 Lockdown

Written by Kate • May 8, 2020 •
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Have you taken the time to assess your life and all the changes the pandemic has brought to your life?

My partner and I made the decision to self isolate as a family in mid- March so we’re coming up on two months of a radically changed lifestyle.

To be clear, my partner is able to work from home, my business is internet-based, and we have young kids so for us the self-isolation doesn’t mean that much change, for which we are thankful. We aren’t having too much about worry about a loss of income or at all about getting our kids to finish their school year.

For us, the biggest changes in our routine have been stopping the kids from going to playgrounds (indoor and out), no camping, no more hiking the Appalachian Trail because apparently it’s a mob scene out there, and no more visiting family and friends.

The other big effect for us has been the mental and emotional stress of worrying about the health of everyone in the world, the financial impact of this on our friends and family here and abroad and on societies in general, and when will this end.

I took a big emotional hit personally when I heard – in early April- that Virginia was extending the lock down through June 10th. It took me a week to recover from the stress of that, imagining that I couldn’t cope with such an extended lockdown. And I find myself worrying about whether school will open in the fall for me kids to attend school and what we’ll do if it doesn’t (and even if it does). So much fretting about the future, over situations I have no control over and knowing that worry doesn’t help.

But like most changes, we slowly begin to accept the new normal. And in looking at the data, we’ve made the decision to continue with our own personal lock-down for the foreseeable future.

I’ve been ruminating recently about what this lockdown has shown me about the way I’ve been living my life, in automatic mode.

I see that:

1. I set myself such a busy schedule that I’ve been rushing to to get my kids to playgrounds, to visit my Dad, to make sure the kids’ lives are enriched. So much rushing and all of it unnecessary.
2. My kids love being home with us, getting our attention. They don’t always need more stimulation. They just want attention.
3. I miss people and hugs and human interaction.
4. My habits needed a spring cleaning so that I’m spending more time doing what I want to do rather than feel overwhelmed by all the things I’m not doing, in order to meet my busy schedule.
5. Planning food for the week, including a menu and buying to the menu at a once weekly trip to the store, is easy, efficient, massively reduces food waste, saves time and trips to the store, and enables me keep to my plan when I’m tired.
6. I spent way too much time on my phone/on apps.
7. I love routines that support me and I can build routines from nearly any new change.

Now that we’ve nestled in to our new normal, I’m so grateful for all of the positive aspects I’ve learned and insights I’ve gained from what I call the Great Pause.

We almost always fear great upheaval. In this case, I wouldn’t wish the deaths and financial stress on anyone anywhere. I know this is hard for so many.

I am, by nature, an optimist and I always try to see what good any change brings me. For me, this Pause has given me many gifts and I’m grateful for them.

Some resources during Lockdown- #coronavirus

Written by Kate • April 10, 2020 •
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Here are some great resources for you during lockdown. If you’ve been reading my posts, then you know I love yoga. And I was going to yoga classes 6 days a week before the lockdown. Now that I’m helping to flatten the curve, I’m at home and trying to keep up with some of my favorite things to do.

Below are some yoga and exercise ideas for your physical health. Following those suggestions, I’ve posted some great mental health workout options.

[Note: I have no affiliation with my recommendations in that I don’t get a kickback or any profit from my recommendations. I just love them and want to share]

YOGA

The Yoga Barn in Ubud, Bali has been shut down because they are in lock down and no foreigners are permitted entry to the island. So they’ve gone online. Some really great videos of yin, vinyasa flow, and power yoga that are about 45 minutes long. Highly recommend all of their work. Here is a link to the FB videos. Their work is being provided by donation.

From the Yoga Barn, Daniela Garza Rios is an amazing teacher. She has a few 75 minute classes. Also an amazing teacher. Her work is being provided by donation.

My friend Angie at Honestly Yoga also has some great yoga classes on YouTube. Check her out too. (Free!)

And my teacher, Sue Miller, also has really great classes. Love her!

I also really enjoy the Down Dog app. I would recommend it too. They are free until 1 May.

EXERCISE

Best Overall App

I’ve tried several of the pilates apps and I’m just not there yet, given my pelvic injuries so I need more basic apps. I find FitOn to be the best for me. It’s got HIIT, Pilates, Yoga, Barre and more. Love it. Free app.

Pushups

I also intend to be able to do 100 pushups so I’ve download this app for that. Right now I’m doing knee pushups but I’m hoping to be moving to full pushups in a few weeks. Then I’ll start over and do 100 full pushups, as my goal. Three days a week. Why not get strong?! $2.99 for the full app. Essentially free.

MENTAL HEALTH

I really love Brooke Castillo’s no nonsense approach, mixed as it with love and compassion for your suffering. Definitely check out her podcasts. Great stuff. She dropped several podcasts specifically for the corona virus situations and they were uplifting and awesome. Her podcasts are free.

As usual, Martha is amazing and inspiring and I always recommend her stuff as well. She has a great video series on Facebook for you to watch, to help with your mental health during this trying time. Her videos are free.

My friend, Scott Clover, is a really talented intuitive energy healer if you could use some additional, personal attention. I highly recommend one of his sessions for healing. He’s helped me a great deal. Absolutely worth it.

What do you love? What would you recommend? I’m especially looking for some great barre or pilates apps that provide classes of various length for beginner to intermediate users.

Lessons from the Lockdown- Coronavirus

Written by Kate • April 9, 2020 •
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Life has slowed waaaaaaaay down since we first went into lockdown, about 4 weeks ago. At first it was disorienting, not going about my normal routine. No rushing about to take the kids to the park. No yelling. No more willpower to get the kids dressed and out the door. No more scheduling hassles. No more rushing about to visit my ill Dad. No more potential school visits. No doctor visits. Essentially no more rushing.

The first thing I noticed about this new normal is that I had time to plan and make dinner every night. I could defrost the meat or adapt the meal plan so that I could use up leftovers. No more eating out because I didn’t have time to prepare a meal. That was incredibly nice and feels like a healthy change.

I also dropped the stress of rushing about, making sure I met all our obligations in terms of visiting and getting out and checking all the boxes for the kids (sunshine- check, playgrounds and appropriate sensory inputs to help with their motor development – check, going to playgrounds so the kids could hang out with other kids- check).

That felt good, to drop that stress. Of course, I picked up a different kind of stress around running my business – will this change affect my clients? will it affect my partner’s business? what about all my people? what about the world? But I remembered what is in my control and and what isn’t and I remembered to breathe and let go of trying to control the world. Ahhh, better.

And now, my world is starting to really slow down. I’m putting my phone down. I’m just being. I’m logging on less. I don’t want to connect so much in impersonal ways. I’m reaching out to friends because I have the TIME, which I already had, but I chose to spend it rushing about, stressing about getting it all done.

In Martha Beck‘s great book, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, she talks about dropping into Wordlessness. Not dreaming about the future or remembering the past. Just being here, without thinking, feeling something that approaches joy.

And with Kyle Cease‘s book, The Illusion of Money: Why Chasing Money is Stopping You From Receiving It, it’s clear to me now just how much I was doing out of a sense of obligation, from a place where I was going through life doing certain things because it’s what I should be doing. How I was pushing myself from the outside in rather than feeling my way through actually living from a place of joy.

I know people are suffering during this time, from the isolation, loss of income, illness and death. This is true. What is also true is that we can also find the unexpected gifts in such crises. I’m choosing to find the lessons, the places where I can grow from the unexpected, from the pain.

I’ve slowed waaaaaaaay down. And I’m loving it.