Kate Allen

Assessing changes to your life- COVID 19 Lockdown

Written by Kate • May 8, 2020 •
Leave a comment

Have you taken the time to assess your life and all the changes the pandemic has brought to your life?

My partner and I made the decision to self isolate as a family in mid- March so we’re coming up on two months of a radically changed lifestyle.

To be clear, my partner is able to work from home, my business is internet-based, and we have young kids so for us the self-isolation doesn’t mean that much change, for which we are thankful. We aren’t having too much about worry about a loss of income or at all about getting our kids to finish their school year.

For us, the biggest changes in our routine have been stopping the kids from going to playgrounds (indoor and out), no camping, no more hiking the Appalachian Trail because apparently it’s a mob scene out there, and no more visiting family and friends.

The other big effect for us has been the mental and emotional stress of worrying about the health of everyone in the world, the financial impact of this on our friends and family here and abroad and on societies in general, and when will this end.

I took a big emotional hit personally when I heard – in early April- that Virginia was extending the lock down through June 10th. It took me a week to recover from the stress of that, imagining that I couldn’t cope with such an extended lockdown. And I find myself worrying about whether school will open in the fall for me kids to attend school and what we’ll do if it doesn’t (and even if it does). So much fretting about the future, over situations I have no control over and knowing that worry doesn’t help.

But like most changes, we slowly begin to accept the new normal. And in looking at the data, we’ve made the decision to continue with our own personal lock-down for the foreseeable future.

I’ve been ruminating recently about what this lockdown has shown me about the way I’ve been living my life, in automatic mode.

I see that:

1. I set myself such a busy schedule that I’ve been rushing to to get my kids to playgrounds, to visit my Dad, to make sure the kids’ lives are enriched. So much rushing and all of it unnecessary.
2. My kids love being home with us, getting our attention. They don’t always need more stimulation. They just want attention.
3. I miss people and hugs and human interaction.
4. My habits needed a spring cleaning so that I’m spending more time doing what I want to do rather than feel overwhelmed by all the things I’m not doing, in order to meet my busy schedule.
5. Planning food for the week, including a menu and buying to the menu at a once weekly trip to the store, is easy, efficient, massively reduces food waste, saves time and trips to the store, and enables me keep to my plan when I’m tired.
6. I spent way too much time on my phone/on apps.
7. I love routines that support me and I can build routines from nearly any new change.

Now that we’ve nestled in to our new normal, I’m so grateful for all of the positive aspects I’ve learned and insights I’ve gained from what I call the Great Pause.

We almost always fear great upheaval. In this case, I wouldn’t wish the deaths and financial stress on anyone anywhere. I know this is hard for so many.

I am, by nature, an optimist and I always try to see what good any change brings me. For me, this Pause has given me many gifts and I’m grateful for them.

Drinking Booze and a Connection to the Divine #Coronavirus Thoughts

Written by Kate • April 24, 2020 •
Leave a comment

Earlier this year, from Dec 29 (of last year) to Feb 22nd, I gave up alcohol for a month.

I wasn’t a heavy drinker but I was drinking a minimum of 5 days a week and often 7 days a week. Mostly wine because the hard stuff is too strong for me but drank fruity drinks like cosmos or capiroskas. I spent two months in late 2019 in France so I had a lot of new wine to sample and it was simply delish. Their chenin blancs- wow. And the price! But I digress.

I gave it up for a month because I knew I needed to. I know drinking that much isn’t good for anyone, no matter how much people spin the resveratrol and all the hype.

And it was amazing. I learned so much about my habits about booze – when I’m out eating, have a drink! When I’m socializing, have a drink! When I’m feeling frazzled, have a drink!

But once I gave it up, I faced my habits and I had to feel my feelings rather than have a drink to take the edge off. Mind blowingly awesome to have given myself this experience. I also wasn’t as dehydrated as I had been. I slept better. My hormones felt more settled and I was happier.

But the biggest boost from this time is the absolutely huge amount of creativity that stirred in me and started to flow through me. I had so many ideas and new thoughts and my connection to the Divine, to Source, to God just lit up. My morning visualizations were turbo charged and my connection fairly sizzled throughout my abstinence. Wow, what a launch to the year.

And then in late February after some 6 or so weeks, I decided to have a drink again while I was out waiting for the kids to finish their yoga class. And then just boom, I was drinking again and by mid March, with the coronavirus/COVID-19 lockdown, I was drinking most days again.

My connection to the Divine was strained. My morning visualizations just fizzled. I felt so blocked and I haven’t blogged in a few weeks because I no longer felt any creativity. The connection felt muffled and I could simply not get through.

It took me a while to make the connection but I realized that the only real difference between January and now was the booze. I asked a friend of mine, a really gifted intuitive energy healer- Scott Clover– and he confirmed the reality for him too that drinking alcohol definitely affects his connection for the worse.

And so I’ve given it up again. This time it’s not for a certain length of time although I’ve made the commitment to check in again with me to redecide on 1 July.

I feel so much better. First, I’ve lost some weight I gained in the last month. I’m again less dehydrated. I sleep better. I have the time and more energy to do other things. And my connection is getting super charged again and I’m getting so many creative ideas again. I’m feeling super grateful.

One thing I noticed about drinking is that at a certain point, your time and energy is about drinking, making sure that you have the space and the time to drink. But once you don’t put any energy into drinking, there is so much more to do and so much energy to do it with.

I highly recommend trying it. See what’s under the covers of your life, without the blanket that is your mind on booze.

Lessons from the Lockdown- Coronavirus

Written by Kate • April 9, 2020 •
Leave a comment

Life has slowed waaaaaaaay down since we first went into lockdown, about 4 weeks ago. At first it was disorienting, not going about my normal routine. No rushing about to take the kids to the park. No yelling. No more willpower to get the kids dressed and out the door. No more scheduling hassles. No more rushing about to visit my ill Dad. No more potential school visits. No doctor visits. Essentially no more rushing.

The first thing I noticed about this new normal is that I had time to plan and make dinner every night. I could defrost the meat or adapt the meal plan so that I could use up leftovers. No more eating out because I didn’t have time to prepare a meal. That was incredibly nice and feels like a healthy change.

I also dropped the stress of rushing about, making sure I met all our obligations in terms of visiting and getting out and checking all the boxes for the kids (sunshine- check, playgrounds and appropriate sensory inputs to help with their motor development – check, going to playgrounds so the kids could hang out with other kids- check).

That felt good, to drop that stress. Of course, I picked up a different kind of stress around running my business – will this change affect my clients? will it affect my partner’s business? what about all my people? what about the world? But I remembered what is in my control and and what isn’t and I remembered to breathe and let go of trying to control the world. Ahhh, better.

And now, my world is starting to really slow down. I’m putting my phone down. I’m just being. I’m logging on less. I don’t want to connect so much in impersonal ways. I’m reaching out to friends because I have the TIME, which I already had, but I chose to spend it rushing about, stressing about getting it all done.

In Martha Beck‘s great book, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, she talks about dropping into Wordlessness. Not dreaming about the future or remembering the past. Just being here, without thinking, feeling something that approaches joy.

And with Kyle Cease‘s book, The Illusion of Money: Why Chasing Money is Stopping You From Receiving It, it’s clear to me now just how much I was doing out of a sense of obligation, from a place where I was going through life doing certain things because it’s what I should be doing. How I was pushing myself from the outside in rather than feeling my way through actually living from a place of joy.

I know people are suffering during this time, from the isolation, loss of income, illness and death. This is true. What is also true is that we can also find the unexpected gifts in such crises. I’m choosing to find the lessons, the places where I can grow from the unexpected, from the pain.

I’ve slowed waaaaaaaay down. And I’m loving it.