Kate Allen

On Coaching and Being Coached- Lessons from Brooke Castillo at the Life Coach School

Written by Kate • April 17, 2020 •
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NOTE: None of these are affiliate links. Just my honest thoughts.

I am definitely a seeker of knowledge, experience, travel, love, and more. I finally – FINALLY- decided to hire a coach for the first time back in 2007 because I realized I needed better thoughts. The way I was thinking and living my life wasn’t working for me but I didn’t know how to be happier.

IT ALL STARTED WITH UPLEVEL YOUR LIFE

So, in secret because I didn’t want to be ridiculed, I bought Christine Kane‘s group coaching class Uplevel Your Life and started on MY path. It’s been twisty. It’s been turny. It’s been steps up and steps back. Her class was exactly what I was looking for. I wept when I read the first several lessons. What a gift.

And from there I was off. I know that they are better thoughts that serve me better and I’ve hired several coaches in the intervening years. Most of them in group coaching sessions but a few handfuls in one on one sessions too. I think they both are helpful in different ways at different times in one’s life.

Group coaching is helpful when you’re super busy and you just can’t be available at a specific time. (I’m looking at you, new mom of twins or new RFP just hit the street and you’re working upwards of 100 hours per week or any such intense moments in your life).

A VERY QUICK TOUR OF SOME OF MY PAST COACHES

I’ve hired Christine Kane in multiple ways, including her UYL, Gold Business coaching, and Getting your First 10 Clients. I’ve hired and trained with Sara Wiseman in private and group calls for all my woowoo needs and got certified through her wonderful, loving Intuition University. I worked with Erin Pavlina for a long weekend in a small group setting in her home, to get further trained on doing readings and sessions with clients. Amazing.

I hired JaiKaur to help me heal some of my earlier trauma. Amazing. Totally recommend. I bought Jeff Walker’s PLF program- I think his work is for someone who’s a bit more advanced in their business than mine but he’s shown me what is possible.

BROOKE CASTILLO AND THE LIFE COACH SCHOOL

And about 2 months before we moved to Bali, I took the plunge and joined Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching Scholars. My first month in her program was Dec 2018. Christmas. Kids. Plans fell in place to move to Bali in Jan 2019. And I didn’t get to much of the Dec program. Then we moved to Bali.

And upon arrival in Bali and about a month of settling in, I turned back to her program to “start” it in earnest. I didn’t give it the time it deserved at first and then when I tried to access the video trainings, I couldn’t do it (technology-wise). It took me a few months to figure it out that not being able to view the videos wasn’t an internet problem. It was that Indonesia blocks all Vimeo videos. Can you believe? It took me 4 long months to realize I needed to buy a VPN to tunnel back to the US (or anywhere else like Singapore or Australia) to be able to watch the videos. But by that time, I had decided I couldn’t do the program without the videos. And that I didn’t have the time. I love my excuses. I laugh at it now.

Fast forward to Jan 2020. We’d been back in the US for about a month but I’d spent the first three weeks of Jan spending three to four nights a week at the hospital with my very ill Dad (pre-Coronavirus- ah those were the days). He finally got released in late Jan and I was able to spend the next several days resting and not traveling 100 miles round trip to visit my Dad in the extremely far away hospital.

With that rest, I faced February trying to reintegrate into the US and settle back into a routine here. I knew I wanted to relaunch my business and the idea to start again on my program with Self Coaching Scholars bubbled up, to support me on my journey. And so I made the commitment to begin again on 1 March with the December program subject. (Each month has a specific subject- Dec was the Year of Doing the Impossible). And it’s been amazing. Even without the videos and with even less free time than I had in Bali, I’ve made the time and effort to listen to the teachings and Q and As that I downloaded from Dec 2018. I followed through with the program, pretty much with a 100% compliance.

And the Universe is amazing. I’m so so glad I made the true commitment in early Feb because life sure took a hard turn in early/mid March with the whole COVID-19/coronavirus upheaval. Brooke puts out free podcasts and I’ve been listening to those and I had the privilege of being able to hear her take on the crisis through additional podcasts that she put out in mid March. Such gifts. She is so incredibly compassionate and yet no nonsense. She speaks my language, for sure.

I started on the Jan 2019 month in April 2020 and have been working the program every since.

I can’t recommend her school or her teachings enough. She is DA BOMB. Amazing. I would actually ditch the idea of being a coach myself and just direct all clients to her except for one thing that sets me apart as a coach. Brooke isn’t as focused on the woowoo side of things as I want to be in my life. She has so much to offer to me in all things except the woowoo side of life. But Brooke is fully Brooke and we don’t want her any other way, right?

So definitely run to your phone RIGHT NOW to start listening to Brooke’s podcasts or even join her school. You won’t regret it.

Get the Help You Need

Each of my coaches/mentors have helped me enormously. I love learning new things and it’s clear I’m a lifelong learner. I love upgrading my mental model and my thoughts and getting additional resources to help me make my way in the world. I think working with coaches is a great way to get stuff done and there is so much content out there. There’s just no reason for you to keep living and playing small- except for your mindset. Upgrade your mindset and your thoughts and your life will be increasingly amazing.

PS I forgot to include the wise and amazing Martha Beck and Lissa Rankin, These two simply must be mentioned when talking about coaches and mentors.

Some resources during Lockdown- #coronavirus

Written by Kate • April 10, 2020 •
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Here are some great resources for you during lockdown. If you’ve been reading my posts, then you know I love yoga. And I was going to yoga classes 6 days a week before the lockdown. Now that I’m helping to flatten the curve, I’m at home and trying to keep up with some of my favorite things to do.

Below are some yoga and exercise ideas for your physical health. Following those suggestions, I’ve posted some great mental health workout options.

[Note: I have no affiliation with my recommendations in that I don’t get a kickback or any profit from my recommendations. I just love them and want to share]

YOGA

The Yoga Barn in Ubud, Bali has been shut down because they are in lock down and no foreigners are permitted entry to the island. So they’ve gone online. Some really great videos of yin, vinyasa flow, and power yoga that are about 45 minutes long. Highly recommend all of their work. Here is a link to the FB videos. Their work is being provided by donation.

From the Yoga Barn, Daniela Garza Rios is an amazing teacher. She has a few 75 minute classes. Also an amazing teacher. Her work is being provided by donation.

My friend Angie at Honestly Yoga also has some great yoga classes on YouTube. Check her out too. (Free!)

And my teacher, Sue Miller, also has really great classes. Love her!

I also really enjoy the Down Dog app. I would recommend it too. They are free until 1 May.

EXERCISE

Best Overall App

I’ve tried several of the pilates apps and I’m just not there yet, given my pelvic injuries so I need more basic apps. I find FitOn to be the best for me. It’s got HIIT, Pilates, Yoga, Barre and more. Love it. Free app.

Pushups

I also intend to be able to do 100 pushups so I’ve download this app for that. Right now I’m doing knee pushups but I’m hoping to be moving to full pushups in a few weeks. Then I’ll start over and do 100 full pushups, as my goal. Three days a week. Why not get strong?! $2.99 for the full app. Essentially free.

MENTAL HEALTH

I really love Brooke Castillo’s no nonsense approach, mixed as it with love and compassion for your suffering. Definitely check out her podcasts. Great stuff. She dropped several podcasts specifically for the corona virus situations and they were uplifting and awesome. Her podcasts are free.

As usual, Martha is amazing and inspiring and I always recommend her stuff as well. She has a great video series on Facebook for you to watch, to help with your mental health during this trying time. Her videos are free.

My friend, Scott Clover, is a really talented intuitive energy healer if you could use some additional, personal attention. I highly recommend one of his sessions for healing. He’s helped me a great deal. Absolutely worth it.

What do you love? What would you recommend? I’m especially looking for some great barre or pilates apps that provide classes of various length for beginner to intermediate users.

Lessons from the Lockdown- Coronavirus

Written by Kate • April 9, 2020 •
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Life has slowed waaaaaaaay down since we first went into lockdown, about 4 weeks ago. At first it was disorienting, not going about my normal routine. No rushing about to take the kids to the park. No yelling. No more willpower to get the kids dressed and out the door. No more scheduling hassles. No more rushing about to visit my ill Dad. No more potential school visits. No doctor visits. Essentially no more rushing.

The first thing I noticed about this new normal is that I had time to plan and make dinner every night. I could defrost the meat or adapt the meal plan so that I could use up leftovers. No more eating out because I didn’t have time to prepare a meal. That was incredibly nice and feels like a healthy change.

I also dropped the stress of rushing about, making sure I met all our obligations in terms of visiting and getting out and checking all the boxes for the kids (sunshine- check, playgrounds and appropriate sensory inputs to help with their motor development – check, going to playgrounds so the kids could hang out with other kids- check).

That felt good, to drop that stress. Of course, I picked up a different kind of stress around running my business – will this change affect my clients? will it affect my partner’s business? what about all my people? what about the world? But I remembered what is in my control and and what isn’t and I remembered to breathe and let go of trying to control the world. Ahhh, better.

And now, my world is starting to really slow down. I’m putting my phone down. I’m just being. I’m logging on less. I don’t want to connect so much in impersonal ways. I’m reaching out to friends because I have the TIME, which I already had, but I chose to spend it rushing about, stressing about getting it all done.

In Martha Beck‘s great book, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, she talks about dropping into Wordlessness. Not dreaming about the future or remembering the past. Just being here, without thinking, feeling something that approaches joy.

And with Kyle Cease‘s book, The Illusion of Money: Why Chasing Money is Stopping You From Receiving It, it’s clear to me now just how much I was doing out of a sense of obligation, from a place where I was going through life doing certain things because it’s what I should be doing. How I was pushing myself from the outside in rather than feeling my way through actually living from a place of joy.

I know people are suffering during this time, from the isolation, loss of income, illness and death. This is true. What is also true is that we can also find the unexpected gifts in such crises. I’m choosing to find the lessons, the places where I can grow from the unexpected, from the pain.

I’ve slowed waaaaaaaay down. And I’m loving it.

How To Be Happy With What Is- Especially while on lock down at home – Coronavirus edition

Written by Kate • March 26, 2020 •
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So many of us are caught up in what is lacking in our lives and we despair. Typically it’s about money, weight, relationship, and career. And we think it’s an external circumstance, something over which we have little to no control.

But this is not the truth. The truth is that what is happening in our lives are just circumstances. It is completely neutral. It’s our thoughts about them that we have control over and that make these neutral circumstances into something good or bad.

[ Side note: None of the following is really original. I’ve synthesized the following from teachers I really admire and follow, Brooke Castillo at the Life Coach School, Martha Beck, Eckhart Tolle, Christine Kane, and Gerald Epstein, MD. I’m writing this by standing on the shoulders of giants and great teachers.]

Example: Feeling A Lack Of Money

Let’s take an easy to understand and nearly universal worry- lack of money- as our example. So you’re in debt, you don’t have enough to pay your bills, and you look around and all you can think about is how much better life would be with more money. Those thought, that you need more money, that you don’t have what you need, that you’re stuck in lack makes you feel something along the lines of feeling angry, scared, and powerless about how to “get” more money in your life. By feelings those feelings, your resulting actions likely aren’t calm, powerful, focused or motivated. You’re likely stressed out and avoiding feeling your feelings and overeating, overdrinking, and using other buffering mechanisms to avoid what you think is your reality. And the result is likely a continuation of the same circumstances because you’re not feeling empowered or peaceful to try to truly address your desire for money.

Another Way To Be With Your Circumstances -Acceptance

So you don’t have enough money to pay your bills. This is truth. This is fact. It’s your current circumstance. The real power you have is how you think about this fact. You can either choose thoughts about your circumstance that empower and serve you or you can choose thoughts that disempower and don’t serve you. This is where your power lies.

Choose Thoughts That Empower You

Instead of feeling stressed and lack about your money, recognize that the outer circumstances in your life often reflect your inner life circumstances and in those circumstances lie gifts to awaken and teach you to greater truths about yourself and how the world operates. Often it boils down to the truth that you’re feeling lack so you’re outwardly experience lack.

And please be clear about what I’m saying. It’s not your “fault”. You’re not to blame and no one is saying you could have done better. Be clear that sometime the universe takes an opportunity to really grind you down and use your worst fears to help you learn a lesson that will ultimately free you and help you grow. But it’s not something you chose and it’s not something you need to feel bad about having in your life And you get to be scared and overwhelmed and worried and horrified as you confront some of your worst fears, that evoke shame, deep seated fears of not being enough, not being good enough, not having enough, and more. This is heavy stuff and not something to be trivialized. Give yourself total permission to feel all your feelings. Take the time you need to allow yourself a full freak out and be compassionate with yourself. The shizzle is getting real. After a bit of time being honest with yourself and your feelings, it’s time to start to use your superpowers to help you change your thoughts and the resulting feelings.

Just realize that your thoughts about your circumstances are all that you can control. it’s not your fault the coronavirus is ravaging the world. It’s not your fault you were raised in a family that taught that money is bad or that only evil people want to earn a lot of money. This is simply where you are. Be clear. Don’t blame and don’t avoid.

Once you can get clear, start to use your own superpower and begin to consciously upgrade the way you think about your outward circumstances. Perhaps you can start to honestly catalogue all the ways this lack of money has been helpful to you. For me, I see that when my cash flow got low, I saw how much power I gave to worry and stress over money and how much I relished being a victim of this. That I didn’t learn about money from my parents, that it wasn’t my fault and I needed to be rescued by someone outside of me. Every thought raced through my head -except the one that this was something I had the power to change.

Lack of money has also helped me be clear about how much fear I had around lack, how much money I was spending on non-essential items, and how much I was using avoidant behavior to not be truthful about how I could actually change my circumstance. And that I would sacrifice my happiness, my time, and autonomy on getting a job to bring in money, even if I hated the job. I gave my deep desire for money a lot of power in my life.

Can You Find Your Way to Being Grateful?

Truly, I’ve also gotten to the place where I’m grateful for when I’ve felt financial lack. (And I’ve definitely had moment of financial lack, big scary thoughts about it.) What can it teach you and how much more powerful are you once you’ve truly learned all that the lack of money can teach you?

For me, I’ve prayed for years for clarity of my mindset and to be shown all of my blind spots. ALL of them. Before my daily morning mediation, I ask the Divine Beloved to tear down the veil of my ignorance so that I can truly SEE. I’ve learned to be so grateful for the lack of financial abundance that can stick around for seemingly forever. I’ve gotten clear about the worst that can happen. I can go bankrupt. I can lose my house. And instead of being the image of financial success to my family and friends, I’d be an example of how to lose it all. I see that I care what people think and I want to considered a success by others in all thing.

I went all the way down the rabbit hole. So I could go bankrupt. What does that look like? How do I feel about it? I could lose my house. What does that look like? What would I do? I go to the worst case scenarios and I get clear about what can happen. And really it’s simply that I’ll have to feel feelings, like shame and fear. But I can handle that. I could handle starting over, if it were ever to come to that. And I’m so grateful for the clarity the truth brings.

Choosing Better Thoughts

After getting clear about how you’ve been thinking and starting to perhaps even be grateful for your circumstances, it’s now time to find better thoughts about what is happening to: empowering thoughts that serve you well. If better, more empowering thoughts initially elude you, then ask yourself empowering questions about the situation.

For example, you can’t think of a better thought around the pile of debt you have. So ask yourself a question that helps your mind do something for you. Your mind is constantly searching for what to do and how to get things done. So send it off to ponder on questions that will help you. Like: How can I think better about this? How can I invite more money into my life? What are things and feelings I can have or do that will help me? And then let your mind go and you likely will have great answers in short order, especially if you sleep on it. Boom, you’re awake and your mind will probably be serving you up answers to your empowering questions.

Better Thoughts Mean Better Feelings

Once you consciously choose different thoughts that serve and empower you around money, then the feelings that result from those thoughts will serve and empower you as well. If you have a thought like: money is just a circumstance and I can make changes in my life in ways I never considered, the feelings that follow will likely be calm, powerful, happy and inspired. This type of feeling will allow you to take more powerful, even inspired action on the issue. And you’ll get ideas about how to change (or accept) your circumstance.

Be Willing To Follow Through

Your mind may serve up thoughts: ideas and inspiration that scare the socks off of you. You’ll have to try something new. You’ll have to put yourself out there and you may get rejected, you may fail, and your family and friends may think you’re nuts. None of that matters. Understand that following through on the power of your inspiration is what will lead you to increasing amounts of joy in your life, a better feeling about your life, and likely to more abundance.

Savor the Journey

In this example, you desperately wanted more money. And you think you’ll only happen once you have all the money you wanted. But in reality, you can start to enjoy the feeling of having the money once you decide that you will have more money and allow it in.

Do you remember, as a child, how much you enjoyed the entire month of December because of the anticipation of Christmas Day? (for those of you who celebrated Christmas- use your memories of your birthday if that works better for you). The whole month, you dreamed of Christmas day. All the presents, the food, the magical day. And it really peaked on Christmas Eve, knowing Santa was riding out that night ready to give you presents. And how was Christmas Day? It was often pretty awesome but it never truly did compare to the anticipation, did it? The same will be when you have all the money you need. Enjoy the build up. Enjoy knowing that you’re going to have a lot of money in the same way you knew that you were going to be getting presents. There wasn’t any fear or desperation around Christmas. It was all joy and anticipation. That’s the feeling you’re going for so cultivate thoughts around money/abundance that give rise to joy and light anticipation.

Don’t Forget to Visualize

Visualization is a powerful tool. Find visualizations that work for you and make you feel light and airy and joyful. Don’t get bogged down in the details of how the money will arrive.

Some examples of visualizations for abundance or prosperity are:

Imagine a body of water so vast it’s all you can see. Feel the water. See it lapping at the shore at your feet. Then slip into the water and float in its vastness. Feel the water slip into your pores and maybe even drink it up. I personally slip under the water and feel it enter into my lungs and ears and my eyes. And then feel that the water is abundance and it is vast and surrounds you at all time. You just have to let it in.

One that really works for me is that I can see a rushing river of cash flowing down from some place in the sky into my left hand and a slightly smaller river flowing out my right hand. For me, I know that I’ll be spending and donating the money so allowing the energy of abundance flow though me. This gives me the joy and anticipation feelings I mention above.

Be sure to get the flutter of emotion that lets you know the visualization is locked in and feels true and exciting to your subconscious. Check out Epstein’s page for some great visualizations.

Call on the Divine Beloved

As always, ask for help and guidance. Pray for it. Ask for it. Follow the inspiration. Tosha Silver has some great prayers on asking for help from the Divine Beloved, if that’s your jam.

Follow the inspiration you get. That’s key. Don’t stay stuck with your statue quo. Be willing to do things differently.

Keep working on your thoughts

Of course, you’ll have to keep working on your thoughts when you notice thoughts arise that are disempowering. It’s natural that your brain will freak out about circumstances without training to think empowering thoughts. Notice when you have thoughts that don’t serve you. Change them up.

You got this. You can do it. It’s what you were born to do: learn from your circumstances and follow your heart.

How to Manifest – a Short and Quick Guide

Written by Kate • March 10, 2020 •
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I know there is a lot written about manifesting so I’m going to be short and sweet to help refine your technique, in case you’re frustrated with your results.

Step #1: Activate your connection to the Sacred. This is the most important step because trying to intend something without the Divine can be counterproductive, hard, or frustrating. And the results are likely as not to be somewhat off the mark of your true intention. There are several ways to active your conscious connection with the Sacred. Use any technique to get into a higher vibration or a vibratingly intense state or stir your kundalini energy.

Here are a few techniques to active this connection. Try them all to see which is the easiest and most effective. All of them should be practiced in silence and without fear of interruption.

Technique #1: Breath work. Breathe out to a count of ten (or as high as you can) to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Breathe in normally and then focus on the out breath, making it as long as you can. Do this one more time and then begin, if you feel the tingling and the weightlessness that can indicate your connection is active and strong.

Technique #2: Breathe in slowly through your nose and then let it out of your mouth. Do this between 3 and 13 times. For some reason, this works as well as the previous one. For me, when I use this one, I feel a vibration in my dantian and my scalp starts to tingle and feel warm and I know I’m connected.

Technique #3: Visualize your spine and the current of kundalini energy that is vibrating up and down your spine. Attach your mind’s eye to the energy and follow it, starting from the kundalini pot at the base of your spine and see it spiral up and around your spine, like a snake spiraling outside the spine, and back down again. Follow this coursing energy for several moments, perhaps up to a few minutes. Begin to feel the tingling somewhere in your body to know that you’re connected to the Divine.

Technique #4: I got this technique from combining Martha Beck‘s and Eckhart Tolle‘s advice. Both are fabulous teachers, btw and definitely check them out if you haven’t. With this technique, you sit in a chair or on the floor in a meditation position, back upright, eyes closed, palms upright on your knees. Begin to sense the energy in your palms. Feel this energy and keep attached to it with your mind’s eye. Then, while holding with your senses the energy in your palm, begin to feel the energy in your dantian or third chakra. Feel the energy flowing between them and through them. And then while holding your sense of the energy in your palms and in your dantian, bring your focus to your 3rd eye (sixth chakra). Now hold them all together and feel the energy flowing through them and between them. You can then feel your connection to the Sacred and the tingling in your body.

Once you feel the connection, continue to the next step.

Step #2: Create a clear intention. Spend some time getting clear on what you want and then perhaps write it out and say it out loud.

You may lose your connection if you write it out and say it out loud so don’t worry if this happens. Either drop back in using any of the techniques above or end your session and sit with what’s happened.

When you’re connected, continue to the next step.

Step #3: Feel and sense the visualized intention in your mind and body. This perhaps may be the next most important step. Your mind and body don’t really respond to words and logic. Instead the language of the spirit and body is visualization and feeling. So hold the intention in your mind’s eye and really feel it being real.

Again this is important so I’ll walk you through it. Let’s use a common intention which is to manifest a million dollars.

If you want to manifest a million dollars, feel the feeling of having the money in your bank, writing the final check to pay off your debt, or on the plane with flight you’re able to purchase because you have this money. Or whatever it is that gives you joy and excitement about this intention. Feel it. See it in your mind’s eye. Sense the joy that comes with it. Continue doing this until you feel a zing. It doesn’t have to take long. Maybe a 30 seconds or a minute. Don’t linger but also know that your intention needs the power of your feeling and sensation to really bring it manifestation.

So if you don’t feel the “zing” or a sense of pure peace and joy from the visualization, then the intention is either created out of fear and anxiety or youre conflicted about the intention.

It’s ok if you’re conflicted. You’ll need to understand the pushing and pulling you’re feeling about the intention and resolve the conflict, otherwise the intention won’t be manifested.

Step #4 – Once you can feel that the intention has been activated, release it back to the Universe to be brought from the Unmanifested through the Mystery, through the Universe’ own way.

How, when and if the intention is manifested isn’t your concern. You keep on with the intention, which is your part.

Still have questions? Lemme have’em